If I wrote a love song, it would probably be a ballad about Pimento Cheese.
Remember that dee-lightful pub cheese that came in the fancy little glass jars? Your mom would buy it special and you’d smear it on triscuits with a very high cheese to cracker ratio? You’d have to cradle it gently so it wouldn’t splat as it went from plate to mouth because it was extremely top-heavy and unstructurely sound. If it did manage to wobble away from your greasy little paws you would immediately drop all adult-y pretense and just go for the orange gloop on the table — because there is no cheese left behind — and use all fingers necessary to wipe away the evidence and get every last bit safely into your gob. Good. Times. (Please tell me I wasn’t the only table-licking child and you’re all nodding your heads in agreement.)
Anyways — now we are all grownups and not only have we improved on our cheese-cracker building skills, we make our own spread! Because now we are allowed to use the food processor and cheese grater and we hardly ever cut ourselves. I feel like pimento cheese is next level pub cheese that took the jolly old road down south and got a sweet-tea-lovin makeover complete with extra mayonnaise and a toothsome grit of raw garlic. I love it even more than the pub cheese of old, it’s funkier. More texture, more flavor, more spice.
There are endless reasons to love a good pimento cheese spread..here are four:
- It can be made in advance. A few days of sitting in the fridge allows it all to settle into all its lovely funky flavors.
- If you have a food processor it takes ten minutes tops. Even if you don’t have one and are grating it old school it’s still super quick.
- Everyone loves it. Everyone.
- Shove leftover spread into grilled cheese or breakfast sandwiches and you will be one happy camper.
Smoked Gouda Pimento Cheese
- 6 ounces smoked gouda grated
- 6 ounces cheddar grated
- 3 garlic cloves
- 1 anchovy smashed
- 1 tsp worcestershire sauce
- 1/2 cup mayonnaise
- ~10 shots hot sauce (I love Cholula)
- 8 ounces pimentos (usually 2 small 4oz jars)
In a food processor pulse cheeses until it all turns to coarse crumbs.
Add garlic, anchovy, and mayonnaise. Turn the processor to full speed and let everything blend. While it's running pour half the pimentos (4 oz) along with some of the jar juices into the processor and continue to mix. Add the rest of the juice if needed. Turn food processor off and scrape down.
Add hot sauce to taste, along with salt and pepper. Check the consistency and see if it is good and spreadable. Drain and discard jar juices and dump in the rest of the pimentos from the second jar. Pulse for just a few seconds! You want there to be good bits of peppers still visible.
Taste for seasoning.
Store in jars in the fridge. Take out ahead of time before serving and let it come to room temp a little to soften.